Session 1 with Ysla, the pianist.

Me (M): Why is your name so difficult?

Ysla (Y): Wladyslaw Spilzman a Polish name. Your name’s difficult for me too.

M: My nickname is not difficult

Y: Then why don’t you give me a nickname?

M: Yeah I was thinking “Dydi” but that sounds like kid’s shampoo. “Wlad” is complicated with the W, and “Lad” sounds a bit too British. What about Ysla? That still sounds kind of Scandinavian, but not too complicated.

Y: (shrug) I’m open to any suggestions. I’m a ‘fictional’ character anyway

M: But isn’t The Pianist based on true story?

Y: Yes, but you picture Wladyslaw Spilzman as Adrien Brody, the guy who played the character. I think the real person doesn’t look like Adrien Brody at all..

M: Yes I’m aware that might happen, but let’s stay with Adrien Brody. He’s quite an eye candy. That’d be very helpful for achieving the goal of today’s session.

Y: Hm. Okay. So what’s the goal of today’s session?

M: I’d like to see whether I’m still able to weigh things carefully when it comes to someone.. cute that I happen to care about

Y: (frown) how is it different between the cute and the not-cute? Isn’t it unprofessional to give different treatment based on cuteness?

M: (shake head) It’s not about cute and not cute. The emphasis is in “that I happen to care about”

Y: And why do you have to use the words “happen to”?

M: Because sometimes I don’t really want to care, but.. due to unknown reason, I just care

Y: Aren’t you supposed to have passed that curious phase and achieve contentment instead?

M: Well I am mostly content, but I’m just human after all. I still have those daily nuisances that might turn chronic if they’re not properly addressed

Y: Yeah.. that makes sense. Okay, so how are we doing this?

M: Mmm.. by doing the “empty chair”, I guess..

Y: (frown) I don’t know how to do the empty chair. I’m a pianist, not a therapist.

M: I know. I am doing the empty chair, but it’s not a professional setting. It’s.. personal. Like.. if we were in a relationship and we’re arguing over something. Like that.

Y: If it were indeed personal, shouldn’t we talk like.. face to face like two adults?

M: (shrug) empirical evidence has demonstrated that.. if we look at each other in the eyes, we’ll be more likely to become emotional. And when we’re emotional, we can’t really talk.

Y: That.. makes sense. What about sitting side by side? You can put your head on my shoulder so you can be more comfortable to facilitate better thinking.

M: That’s quite a good idea, but.. if we touch each other, quite likely we’ll get emotional too. So..

Y: Empty chair it is?

M: (nod) empty chair it is. And uhm.. it might sound strange, but uhm.. if somehow you’re willing to be vulnerable by being the ‘client’ in the empty chair, but somehow you’re still.. well. You’re still the one who “wears the pants”, instead of me, that’d be delightful.

Y: That makes perfect sense, not strange at all.

M: Okay.

Y: (sitting on one of the chair) But you’re aware that I’d actually prefer to have my pants off by the end of the session, aren’t you?

M: I’m undoubtedly aware of that, and when it’s indeed the time, I wouldn’t oppose that either.

Y: Awesome. So what are we going to talk about?

M: I don’t know. I’m just thinking that you should probably talk as if you were talking to your most favorite girl in the world (sitting on a chair in front of Ysla)

Y: (frown) If we were in a relationship, shouldn’t that favorite girl be.. you? And why are you sitting there? Didn’t you say that we shouldn’t sit face to face?

M: It’s just gonna be for 5 minutes or so. Now consider me as a… prototype. Of your favorite girl. Of the idealized person that you think you should’ve been with. I uhm.. would like to see that look in a face –your face—when you’re somehow talking with someone who’s perfect.

Y: (frown)

M: Just try to imagine that I’m not me, and let’s start from there.

Y: But if it’s not you, why would I want to start anything? (still frowning)

M: Well, look---

Y: You’re insecure!

M: …… I am.

Y: But… why? I mean, that doesn’t make you any less perfect, but… why? What did I do wrong?

(five seconds of silence)

M: (shrug) I don’t know. Nothing, I guess.

Y: There is something. Think again.

M: (frown) I’m the one who should’ve given instructions..

Y: And you know you’re not gonna get much by being defensive like that, don’t you?

M: Hey! (throwing a ball of paper)

Y: (laugh) Then tell me what’s wrong..

M: (shrug) I don’t know. Maybe because that “being a favorite” thing---

Y: “Being the favorite” thing

M: … okay. Maybe because that “being the favorite” thing and “being perfect” thing never came up before

Y: You need a statement.

M: Why do you keep concluding my sentences?

Y: Because you’re going round and round.

M: How do you think I should go not round and round with you? I can’t really determine on which point I should start. I keep guessing whether I’ve done things right, and how long I should dwell in this.. “float”. (frown). Suddenly I feel like an ice cream: Cold and.. mushy.

Y: But it’s sweet and delicious, especially when it melts in my tongue---

M: (frown)

Y: The ice cream, not you. Although I don’t mind with either.

(five seconds pause)

M: (sigh) Needing a statement sounds super cheesy

Y: But that’s what it is, and that’s okay. A statement is a point you can start acting upon, so.. yeah, it’s important.

M: (sigh) I don’t know what to say..

Y: (smile) Yeah.. in this case, you’re a bad therapist.

M: I know, right? Damn it!

Y: But that doesn’t make you any less perfect. I won’t even mind if you’re being defensive, sometimes

M: Because it makes you feel like you’re “wearing the pants?”

Y: Yes, but just sometimes, not every time

M: (smile) Just sometimes. Got it.

Y: And you might need to learn to believe that.. I’m not gonna make you wear them.

M: Okay.

Y: For both connotative and denotative reasons.

M: Understood.