That one guy is a kaleidoscope

Seeing him means seeing bright inter-crossing colors, but it’s not blinding. Instead, it makes me feel like continuously open my eyes otherwise I wouldn’t be able to see the colors again the same way. I could still see with my eyes closed and it’s okay, but he seems to really drag me to thinking that this kind of thing is just too awesome to not be fully experienced with my eyes open. Maybe it’s not just the colors either; there are also patterns that dynamically change with every slight movement, but they’re still patterns. Somehow it helps me to comprehend the beauty of the chaotic regulars ---that some things that are regular might disguise themselves as something chaotic, and when the pattern is found after some works of keeping things in motion, it’s just beautiful. It makes me feel at structure and creatively enhanced at the same time; tranquilized and excited at once. I don’t need to separate things or choose between two tough options. I just need to sit back relax and maybe move a bit to enjoy the ride. It’s awesome.

(Says Wikipedia)

Holding him means being in touch with tiny ‘miracles’, and so it’s just the hold I think I can never get tired of. It’s a light hold that’s just enough to make me feel connected without having to significantly tense any muscles. It goes a bit through my fingers, and rests there on my palm… it’s just good when it stays there for a kinda long while.

Thinking of him means feeling like it’s Christmas and that the new year is near. It’s pretty much the time when scenes of the previous year are flashing before me, leaving me with some warmth about what have happened and hope for an even better next year. Of course I have a tinge of anxiety about having missed some things that might be important, but somehow.. it’s Christmas. As long as my loved one is there and some music is still playing, it’s still gonna be a nice Christmas, and next year is still gonna be a hopeful year. Of being together, of mutual support when things go down, or shared laughter when life is being fine.

Being with him means repeating those same old lines, with a revised version each time. It’s something that I can always count on to occur repeatedly, and it’s not boring due to the revision. It’s like being in a cycle of starting… then learning… then understanding… then accepting. Then we start all over again, and it’s always be just okay, because… I just like it. I like the whole process and the growth that comes afterwards. While some parts of the cycle might be frustrating, at times I'm frustrated I guess I just need to grab the kaleidoscope one more time, put it within my view... and no matter how many times I might miss it, I can always discover the beauty over again. Always.