Please try not to convince me that…

…. I should have some drink. I might be one of those people who would stay up in the emergency room when it’s past midnight and you got too drunk and started to smash things up or cried uncontrollably while telling stories about a lover you should’ve let go years ago. It’s okay, it’s part of the job, but being still at work at past midnight inevitably means being somewhat tired and I’m not too sure about getting somebody else to be in my position as a carer to deal with me when I might be drunk and smash things up. If I were drunk, I might be really cranky. I might also sing so many songs –trust me, some medieval Gregorian chant doesn’t really go well with 90s rock and roll, and there might be many more songs from the eras in between those two. Oh, and don’t forget, I’d definitely blurt out way many stories, maybe even secret stories you’ve shared with me some time during a session… so yes, I’d better stay sober. Once an extrovert, I’ve gradually become more introvert lately, and only lately that I have started to selectively (re-)open up to some context. Being an introvert means that there’s a high risk of me being easily carried away by the effect of the alcohol. While I’m generally strong-willed, lately I’ve been learning to be less rigid about things. This means I have better flexibility and tolerance for differences, but at the same time this also means that my brake of risky behavior is somewhat compromised. Until that time when I’m sure that my brake is going just okay, I’ll stay within the saying that’s written in my “eight of swords” tarot card: when in doubt, do nothing. It says “do nothing”, not “do drink”, so I’ll do nothing because I’m still in doubt about my brake.

…. I’m not gonna get pregnant on full intercourse. I translated two books about pregnancy. This means despite only quick-read them, I read each of those books twice. That being said, I think I kind of know how pregnancy happens and what would be required to ensure a good pregnancy--- and it’s not an easy requirement. If I were pregnant, I'd want the best biopsychosocial support possible, so I wouldn’t have any regret about whatever outcome that might happen because.. well. Even with the best biopsychosocial support possible, shits could still happen and it might adversely affect the pregnancy. The bearer of the consequences wouldn’t be just me, but also the baby, and… it might not be fair that the baby does nothing wrong yet still have to bear the consequences, so… I’d prefer to be highly cautious about it. Of course there’s always be a possibility that I might be infertile, but I haven’t checked, so I don’t know. There’re also various contraceptive methods, but.. to my knowledge, the only contraceptive modality that has 100% coverage is abstinence. Let me know if it has changed, though :p

…. You’re free from STD because you’re a good person, because the two just don’t correlate; at least no research that I know of has mentioned it so far. You can be a good person and catch STD, and you can also be a bad person and not catch any STD whatsoever. There has been no consensus about the criteria that define good or bad person, which quite likely is the explanation for the in-existence of a valid research on the correlation of being good/bad and STD. If you want to show me that you’re STD free, show me a report of a valid STD check, that’s the only way. Please try not to convince me that STD is a mild issue, and that it will resolve relatively easily either. Well it is definitely true to some extent, but.. when it is somewhat severe to the state when it induces delirium or dementia, I might be one of those people who would be called in the middle of the night to take care of it. As I said, being still at work in the middle of the night inevitably means being tired, and being tired means less than optimum work performance, so I’d prefer not to be at it too often; let alone, causing other people to be at that state if they somehow had to take care of me if I caught STD.

So I guess seeing is believing. If somehow you’d like to change my point of view on something, show me hard evidence. Would I immediately believe you once you’d done that? No. But if you’re willing to stay long enough until I actually get the sense that you think it’s really important for me to change my view, quite likely I’ll be convinced. It’s not that I’m being distrustful, but… I don’t even fully trust myself; wouldn’t it be a bit too unrealistic if you want me to fully trust you with no context whatsoever?