Being 28 and single

Being 28 and single, it’s inevitable that many random people would advise me this and that about relationships. I find most advice inapplicable, however, due to their incompatibility with my current principles and attitude. Or maybe I’m just being stubborn, I don’t know :p I’m pretty much proud about being stubborn since at times it’s synonimous with being strong-willed and determined, and it has taken me to places that are seemingly impossible to non-stubborn people. I mean I consider myself to have embraced my so-called negative quality instead of denying it; and so far I guess I have directed it to ways that are more socially acceptable and less destructive. But yes of course, I can be too confident about myself at times, so.. I don’t know, and I’m okay abut not knowing. *stubborn *self-toyor

One relationship-related advice that I hear pretty often is to take it easy, that love will find a way, and such thing blah blah blah. I know that already. While there are indeed those who have to struggle to finally be able to be together happily ever after, I kinda believe that this is not my case. I believe that when it’s meant to be, it should be easy; or at least bearable. I believe in destiny, and destiny knows what’s best, so I’m just gonna go with it; I’m taking it easy. Taking it easy is not synonimous with not trying; I’ve been a bit ‘hyperactive’ since only-God-knows-when, and it would be against my nature to just sit and do nothing. It’s just that.. when I make mistake –and I believe I will still make many more mistakes- I will not punish myself. I’ll just learn from it and move along,  hopefully with a memory good enough to prevent me from making the same mistake. So in conclusion, I accept any possibilities; I’m taking it easy :D

The next advice that I also hear quite often is that I shouldn’t be afraid to start a relationship due to the prevalent occurences of divorce, extramarital affairs, intramarital problems, and those blah blah blah. Well theoretically speaking, I’m not afraid. Other than God, the only three things I recognize as fear-inducing are: 1) going into a night club without sufficient amount of security support and haloperidol/diazepam injection; 2) long lasting dangdut koplo concert; 3) not being able to function well. I’m aware that any interpersonal relationship, even marriage, is a man-made thing. Hence, as any other man-made things, it’s not eternal. It could be long lasting, but still, it’s not forever. So when somehow it has to end, then be it. Of course there’ll be grief over the lost, there’ll be things that require adjustment.. and any adjustment is never 100% comfortable. I might have tough times, yet, as tough times are also man-related occurences, they’re not eternal either. As Dee’s “Grow a day older” said, “If life is everchanging, why worry?” So.. I’m okay. I’m not afraid, I just haven’t met someone who’s not afraid of me being not afraid, I guess :p

The other advice that I only hear recently is that I should lower down my standard, that I shouldn’t be too picky. It’s actually a bit confusing since I don’t consider myself as setting a high standard, but maybe.. it’s not high, it’s just rational, and being rational is not quite common when it comes to love or relationship, so.. it seems impossible to most people. I don’t know.

I know what I want, and what I want has usually been adapted to what I need. I know that I’m at my best function and most beneficial to my surrounding when I’m happy, and it’s kinda hard for me to be happy.. when significant aspects in my life are not within my standard. I consider my life as children playground, where we can continously play while still learning; where the process of studying is more of a fun and exciting play instead of something compulsory. It would be hard for me to be with someone who keeps asking me to settle down, because it’s just against my nature. Yet, it’ll also be hard if had to be with someone who’s continously impulsive because continuously being impulsive means you’re not learning. When you’re not learning, you’re not progressing and you stay stupid. I hate being stupid.

I also hate giving up without trying. If that guy I wanna be with turned out to be too high for me to achieve, why would you think I wouldn’t work my ass off to achieve his so called high level? Even if I got heart-broken and didn’t get him, I would still be a better person for I had tried to level-up myself.  It’s an advantage already. If I fancied a regular or even a substandard guy, however, If I were left broken-hearted, I would only have a broken heart to weep on; probably along with those time-consuming I-should’ve-knowns. So, the choices are clear, aren’t they?

Anyway. I’m aware that there’s no such thing as a perfect guy. I wouldn’t mind if my guy made mistakes, as long as they’re mistakes we could learn from; those mistakes that can be reminders that we’re just humans, and be grateful that we have each other to keep us from making the same mistake over again. It’ll be like having team-mates, and when we grow older and have barely anything left, we will still have our talks; those talks that are enough to keep each other happy. When I’m happy, I function well. Hopefully, he does too..