Things you can blame on PMS when they happen

1. Going back home for realizing that you left you house keys. Just when you’re relieved that now you’ve got your keys, you know that somehow you have left your cellphone by the door.

2. Lowered threshold of aggression, especially verbal. Inciting an argument with another girl with a mix of borderline and dependent personality trait who has a boyfriend with antisocial trait; when you can actually just give her free pukpuk for having been raised by a distant father and an ignorant emak-emak sosialitak.

3. Unnecessary grammatical mistake(s)

4. Unnecessary grammatical mistakes that happen twice. Three times. Countless times that you're crazy of counting for -due to inexplicable reasons- your calculating ability has suddenly chosen to enter the black hole and doesn't seem to show any intention to come back to you.

5. At the same time, lowered threshold for bad grammar intolerance in (for?) others. You even try to edit an already issued official document for the spelling and grammatical mistakes.

6. Exponential sprouting of acnes.

7. Crying over movies? That’s non PMS. At PMS you cry over a one-inch break on your bedroom wall, asking yourself how could anybody/anything be so mean that your wall breaks. Oh. And don’t forget about this optical illusion where this one inch crack suddenly look like a break on the ground after a 10 richter scale earthquake.

8. Getting upset for being lied like nobody lied to you before, and thinking that it must be some kind of wicked conspiracy organized by intergalactic underground cult.

9. Talking philosophical stuff. Chauvinism and gender related, mostly. And incorporating KBBI definitions and Piaget’s theory of cognitive development into the talk. And you feel like sitting down and having a serious dialog with Freud instead of simply giving him a slap on the face for his preoccupation about sexual matters.

10. Unexplained pre-night shift early insomnia, usually followed by a midnight bath.

11. Taking extra hours for stalking activities that has actually long gone

12. Writing sixty something pages of a story and not being able to finish it even after satu purnama di New York yang ternyata beda dengan satu purnama di Jakarta.

13. Having this delusional thought that the only ganteng guy on earth is the one you’re currently stalking.

14. Having a hard time preventing yourself from changing your FB status to “Dear people, please stop pretending to be naive. The only requirements for a baby to start growing in your womb are a sperm and an ovum. It doesn’t really have anything to do with one’s sexual orientation. So, stop treating my gay friends like they’re straight because it’s like denying their own honest existence.” Oh there, I said it.

15. Being totally awesome at procrastination.

16. Enduring backache induced by coffee-less-ness.

17. Coming up with these sophisticated questions about your existence on earth because you feel immediately enlightened after having fast food for lunch.

18. Your visuospatial capability goes from “requires intensive training” to “highly alarming” or even “none”. So really, ladies, no texting while driving. Be strict on this.

19. Cursing Shania Twain's "men, I feel like a woman" that you occasionally use as a companion for your quick morning exercise

20. Being more clingy to The Real Group's "Long Way to Go". Occasional weeping or even tearing is not uncommon.

...... I think that’s about it. For now.