By the time I have loved you..

.. we might've been involved for a while. Quite likely this means that you’ve told me some of the things you don’t usually tell random people, and no, you didn’t tell me those things within a context of therapy. You just slipped it out some time on an eating-out or on that talk about the show you didn’t really like that I made you watch, or maybe even on that day I came to see you while wearing a dress or a t-shirt that reminded you of something from your further past. You still wouldn’t trust me with your so called deepest darkest secret (e.g. that you cried like shit when watching “AWalk to Remember”) because sometimes a secret is a secret, i.e. it might be better not being told, but you just have this tinge of feeling that someday, you’d tell me anyway.

.. I might have asked lots of questions about the things you’re working on or those hobbies you’re fancying. I might’ve googled them as well, so maybe at those times you happen to be not quite into doing it and a random people ask about it, I just pop out with an answer you don’t know that I know. I still can’t really tell much about it, though, so you might need to carry on answering the more ‘advanced’ questions from that random people.. and I’ll gladly listen to those additional information you’re providing because I just like knowing things. Well especially if those things are you-related.

.. you might’ve listened to my singing and developed a strong opinion about whether I should just do it in the bathroom, in a sound-proof room, or just never do it. In response to this strong opinion, I have also developed a capability to limit my singing only on those places you most likely tolerate.

.. you might’ve been able to point out on my favorite member of each of those 90's boy bands and you’re considering a hypnosis or a cognitive aid something to help you get rid of that unnecessary information from your generally-busy brain.  

.. we might’ve exchanged each other’s MMPI result and read it with a smile, and maybe some STD reports too. We might’ve also had those sleepless nights of doing things together or of occasionally not being together… well. You know, just being flexible about being sleepless, basically.

.. we might’ve had some arguments about who should rule the world (Songoku, Spiderman, or the E.T?), the estimated date of zombie apocalypse, the best financial state we should be in, the most proper city to live in, and what to tell some random kids when they’re asking about issues like LGBT rights or whether marijuana should be made medically legal. We might not always achieve a proper agreement on those topics, but we manage to agree on who’s/what to blame that such issues ever come up. It might be Maslow, world war, or Hollywood ----I’m pretty much open to possibilities, and it’s nice to know that you are too!

.. I might’ve read further about child development and had a better capability to share the knowledge with you. You might’ve read even more, and further, and you might’ve been so good at pointing out on what I understood wrong, or what I have missed. That way, we both miss much less, and I guess it’s gonna be pretty cool.

.. I might’ve learned to cook, or even drive. Haha. I do this out of a proper awareness that you might be unwell once in a while, and I don’t want to be blamed for preparing a meal that makes a sick person gets even sicker. And if you’re somewhat in need for a check in the hospital, I could drive you. Or maybe you just want to experience a passenger seat after spending such a long time being in the driver’s seat.. well.. that could happen. Hopefully :p

.. you would’ve properly acknowledged the worsts of me: my ‘silent-type tantrums’, my significant obsessive tendency, my over-inclusive and over-associating brain, my stubbornness, my backache or acne sprouting during PMS, my occasionally good word-twisting skill, my attention deficit and forgetfulness… yet still you managed to just be okay with all that for somehow knowing that those things might be my best features too, depend on the context. You might have also acknowledged that this is pretty much how I speak so you’ve given up your dream (or nightmare?) a long time ago that you would mostly hear me being clingy, romantic, needy, girly… and all those traits that I’m quite not. 

.. the world might’ve turned into that place where polyamorous relationship is something not too uncommon and that dissatisfaction for one’s love life is a general rule, yet somehow you’d still find that I’m not into polyamorous thing nor feeling dissatisfied because.. I’m with an awesome guy. And you know for sure I’m a picky nay-sayer bitch so I wouldn’t have loved you if you weren’t that awesome.. and I guess that’s just pretty much all that you need to know.