With reasons i couldn’t really specify, on last Monday God has ‘ruined’ my whole plan of spending a solitude one year finishing my writings while doing my internship in a deserted land far far away
With reasons i couldn’t really specify, i then texted like soooo many people telling about the news:
-----my mom
-----a friend that currently is in a deserted land far far away, already
----a highschool friend who’ve turned into superwoman without even getting out of her parents’ house
----another high school friend who always seem to find freak shows even in the most decent environment;
and i also texted a multitasking college friend saying that i needed some advices about things, and asked for his time to meet –which he instantly agreed, thank God.
This was against my habit who usually plan the whole things myself, and came up to people only when the plan was ready to be executed; only when i already had the holistic and established ‘me’. Well. That wasn’t the thing that happened on that Monday: i offered people pieces, i asked their help to build the pieces up, and somehow they didn’t runaway. That was super surprisingly nice :D
With reasons i couldn’t really specify, i got a phone call from my old working-place, asking me to go back working there again. In one side this was a big chance for relieve since the job could give me the guarantee of not being unemployed for approximately a year. But in the other side, this wasn’t the kind of job i want. It didn’t really pave my way of going to the place i want to be. Still, at least i had one more option, and that was good :)
With reasons i couldn’t really specify, i then decided to text a soulmate that has changed accent after some months of living in a super deserted land with minimum signal in a super far far away island only God knows where; and ta-da!! He was having the signal and replied! WOW. I was so much relieved for feeling that at least i could talk to him before doing conversation with my mom since talking to him gave me two benefits: first, i could gain some information that may affect the considerations. Two, with more informations in my hand, i could retain more sanity as compared to if i didn’t have’em. Haha. So. I was relieved, and i kinda started to feel that this change-of-plan shouldn’t be so bad, and i was so very damn right :D
With reasons i couldn’t really specify, i then called my mom, talk to her a minute or two, and i didn’t shout nor cry. I was very calm and well controlled. i was able to explain things clearly, telling the ‘ugly’ truth in a non-cursing way, and i was even able to promise that i’d gather some views from others. This was kinda out of my habit who usually just texted, asked my mom to call me, then my mom would call some hours after, and then we could talk. Also, the “asking-view-from-others-about-MY-fate” thing was so unusual for a stubborn non-compliant superbitch like me, but yeah, i did that. And i said that thing wholeheartedly, and i really did that –surprisingly- wholeheartedly also.
Well. Wow.
There’re just so much reasons i couldn’t really specify, and that kinda drove me crazy for a while. Haha.
So.
With a reason i COULD EXACTLY specify –which Javanese will say as “mumet”- i lied down on my bed, put on my earphone, and played the song “Bumblebee” from “The Real Group” over and over and over again. This song never fails to kinda straighten my curled-up twisted mind, and fortunately, that Monday was not an exception ;)
FYI, if i didn’t mis-count, the song “Bumblebee” has 11 (yes, ELEVEN) times of modulations #profusevomitting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ewb8XCz-JjY
To be continued to “With reasons i couldn’t really specify...part 2”
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