Music contemplation – part 4: competition = prestigious? Not always...

I know you're bored, but just in case you're still interested, you can:

>> read the previous parts in English here, here, here, and here

>> read the previous parts in Indonesian here, here, and here

and i do wish you a safe ride :D *fingers crossed*

I used to consider myself as somebody competitive. I don’t always have to win, but i do hate losing. Later on, however, i realized that the reason i competed was not for survival-for-existence, but more likely because i like the lessons competition gives.

Only when i was already in university that i fully realized that competition took sooooo much effort. Time, energy, mind, body, money .. those were all spent for competitions. In my case which involved university choir, often times competition is considered more prestigious as compared to concerts or regular ceremonial duties. I can’t really tell why. I mean it’s CHOIR competition. If your choir wins, it’s the choir that get the name, not some individual people. The name of the members would somehow remain unknown, so i feel that it should do no difference with regular ceremonial duties and/or jobs *which means, we have to do them all full heartedly since they’re all our stage. And each additional stage lead closer to perfection, so, why not?*

it's the choir that matters, not you. 

Well. That’s what i think. But of course the thought doesn’t happen to everybody, and i’m fully aware of that. When a ‘stranger’ did a sight-seeing to my CV and found that i have been into some competitions (and won- both with the choir or alone), many times they’d like give that sight of envy, thinking that i went around much for fun competitions, meeting many people, get much money from the winning, and that i must be somehow famous for have been in such many stages. Well. Those are not true, of course.

I lost social and studying hours for competition –an amount of loss that i can’t really call ‘little’. I don’t meet many people in competition since in the place of competition, we’ll be too busy practising and preparing that it’ll be kinda hard to go around and greet everybody. And whoever did the choir knows, rarely that the winning team get any money as a prize. And being famous just because you’ve been in many competitions? No, trust me, that doesn’t happen, unless you’re congenitally popular already.

When we look only at the outcome, moreover, the view could even be more disappointing. It could be the non satisfying medal/diploma achieved. it could be the unfair decision from judges (which somehow happened more often lately, don’t know why). It could also be the super pain-in-the-ass committe who acted like they’re the most good-looking president of the united states that made the non satisfying outcome became even more unbearable. Even when the competition has the word “international” in its title, when the competition was held in Indonesia, my experience somehow showed that it didn’t really feel like seriously international. 

Well.

Let’s just say that i hadn’t seen enough (coz indeed i haven’t :p), but it’s just...not always worth the sacrifice. The money mind body and soul put out, the expectations from within and from outside parties related (that sometimes unrealistic, gotta say), the tense felt during such duration required for preparation.. if it’s not for the sake of music learning, i could be just broke down, cry out loud, and quit. But of course, i didn’t. It’s music, and it’s good, so why should i quit anyway? :p

However, as said, competition today is getting more weird –or maybe it’s been weird all along but i just didn’t realize it? I don’t know. But somehow there are more competitions available these days. With the developed technology for information distribution, and with more people wishing to change life by doing a winning in a competition –oh yes i’m talking about you, tv ads and tv shows. You keep assuring people to change change change and change like nothing good from the old times- it is now much easier for competition committee to gain participants. And these non standardized competition could be highly heartbreaking sometimes. Well. Few heartbreaks somehow should happen to make you stronger, but continous heartbreak ... that’s masochism. And that’s not healthy. Especially when you’re –like- fighting your own fight and then you’re beaten down by SMS of thousands who don’t actually know. One against thousands. No, that’s not fair. *yes i’m talking bout you, weep-selling talent show*  

So.

Yes, I’m kinda pissed *hey, i’m having my period, getting easily pissed is part of it :p* And no, competitions just don’t excite me, even when it has the word “international” in its title. I’d rather be in concerts since they allow personal appreciation from each audience for the performer. Indie ‘concerts’ such as jazz mben senen is even more liberating since the appreciation somehow don’t involve much fame, great names, or the amount of cheque the performer receives. We only need to watch, enjoy, and appreciate the gift of music in whichever way we like. We could still discuss about the performance, nobody has to win the discussion, the discussion don’t always have to achieve certain conclusion...and that’s ok :D 

Imagine if that happens in a competition, if judges’ can’t get the discussion to finally decide the winner, they could be hung up by all participants :p

One of the after-concerts. Good old time :)

And.

Here's a video from my most beloved choir on earth; a little bonus for you who have taken a look at this post. no, i'm not singing here. I'm watching, and enjoying. Hope you enjoy this video at least just as much as i do ;)

Well.

That’s all. For now. Or for good. Don’t know. Let’s just see... :p