This is a story about a weekend. Two days off spent in two different cities: Jogja and Jakarta. Don’t ask why –it’s either too much to explain or maybe there is no actual explanation at all. Fact is, it happened, and there shouldn’t be any regrets on whatever things that had happened.. *ngecekATM *toyorkepalasendiri :p
Well.
I’m not sure why i finally decided to go to Jakarta. The plan to go to Jogja had been indeed considered since about a month before. However, to go to Jakarta,, that was a last-minute-decision. Well. Though not that last, actually, since i had been considering this option since approximately a week before. I don’t know. Maybe because i was under the spell of that cool band with super handsome guitarist. Maybe because of this young lady’s seduction on my twitter DMs. Maybe because i wanted to push myself beyond my limit and see whether it could work.. well it worked, but turn out freakin’ scary. Haha.
However, I had fun, i reached some goals and i learnt kinda a lot about myself..
1st lesson: I’m done with (religious/near-religious/ceremonial) choral performing :)
It’s been an awesome journey. Being in two wonderful choirs (this one and this one) –and some other occasional choirs- somehow have put me into a start of many things i never thought i could ever be doing. It somehow got me out of my own crazy-yet-lovely world and turned me to a creature that was kinda social. Can’t really decide whether i love or hate it, it’s a lot of mix of both, i guess, but you know.. it helped me grow. As my voice was developed with the so-called the right techniques, somehow my life was too, and i started to be able to elaborate the many pieces of good things my parents had provided me with. Misplacements keep occuring, though, especially everytime the puzzle got bigger. However, having the basic techniques did prevent me from starting all over again everytime the puzzle was changed, and that’s kinda cool :)
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| Bye2 choral performing. It's been wonderful. Thanks so much :) |
The performance i did with my choir-mates on December 17th in Jogja was probably one of the least yet most successfull performance i ever made. Haha. Least because I can’t remember many parts of the six songs sung. Haha. Most, because i turn out that i didn’t totally forget everything though i did no practice together with the choir and only learnt from the text instead. It felt silly-yet-great. Silly because forgetting what-to-sing was somehow sinful. Great because i found out that i still know how to use my make up kit, and that i could simply sing without having to know the whatever process (and possible heartbreaks) that happened before the show. After six years of many occasions which (much) later got me realized that i somehow had been left alone, being a guest that just come and go was a sweet ‘revenge’ :p and as simple as the revenge was done, so was my mission in choral-performing. Haha.
And so. That was it :) I’m gonna hang my ‘ID badge’ of choral performing on the ‘life-wall’. Maybe i’ll do that again once or twice, but very occasionally. Now that i got some ‘supplies’ from the world of choral performing, it’s time for me to go closer to what i’ve been dreaming to be: the person behind the stage. Could be an arranger, composer, vocal trainer.. well. With less performing, i think i can have more time to start working on those. Just like what Peder has done ;)
2nd lesson: I shouldn’t go any crazier than what i’ve been. Haha
I’ve heard stories of how people planned to do the so-called crazy things in order to be able to get out of their routine and boring life. Well. Yes, these times i kinda felt that way also. However, i later found out that i was not one of those people since i seriously executed what i planned instead of just planning. I found out that my comfort zone was the craziness itself, and that my challenge to get out of my comfort zone would be by pursuing the comfort itself, and not by being crazy. Well. A comfort that still have a heart of excitement, to be specific. The ‘heartlessness’ that happened when I pushed myself to do that so-called crazy thing was somehow freaking scary. It kinda shocked me how heartlessness and heartfullness were somehow two sides of a same coin, and so were courage and loser’s escape. They’re masks for each other and somehow inseparable. Scary, and i was seriously not ready for this fact. Maybe for the first time in my life, i was scared by that many sides of myself. And somehow this fear is still manifesting until at least yesterday, when i did something that got me realized that i haven’t buried my histrionic trait deep enough. Well. One thing led to another, and though i’m scared, i’m still grateful for this experience of feeling scared..
3rd lesson: This guilty-pleasure band was indeed one-of-a-kind..
Other than their satisfying-yet-not-surprising performance, this band that got me going all the way to Jakarta was indeed ‘something’. No wonder they can grab lots of hearts to be their fans, including mine :) Well. More on this later, on the next post ;)
Well. Conclusion is, it happened. I can’t really decribe it as totally amazing since that would be oversimplifying. However, it was ‘something’. It was (probably) a milestone: from which i could depart, and greet the arrival with a new hello. So.
Hello :)
I can’t be contented with yesterday’s glory
I can’t live for promises (of) winter to spring
Today is my moment and now is my story
I’ll laugh and i’ll cry and i’ll sing
Today while the blossom still cling through the vine
I’ll taste your strawberries, i’ll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
Ere i forget all the joy that is mine, today
John Denver – Today (re-sung by The Real Group)
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